Lately, I've been feeling grown up. Here's why:
- I work 40 hours a week, usually 8:30am - 5:30pm. It gives me a sense of purpose; I like being diligent at work knowing that I am contributing to a real company for real people. But, it's also tough and exhausting.
- My dad suggested (when I write suggested, I really mean he gave me the form and said "fill this out") that I get my own credit card. Responsible adults need to have good credit apparently.
- I have money. Now, it's my full responsibility to pay for the things I "need." I now have many second thoughts about purchasing items, like that pair of shoes I have to have. This is usually just proceeded with me handing over my card at the register thinking, "maybe I shouldn't have done this."
- Getting a drink at dinner is fun. Fully enjoying happy hour at work is also very fun.
- 10:00pm is my bed time. Well, not really, but it's the time I really want to go to sleep.
- Everyone keeps asking me if working at AOL is something I would consider after college. Wait...what? I think in the back of my mind, I always saw myself going to grad school right after college. That's just what you do, right? I don't think I ever fully considered going right into the work force. Subconsciously, grad school was what I going to do. Now, I am realizing that I am starting to reconsider that. And, you know what, this realization isn't as scary as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm meant to be a working woman.
For now, I'm just going to enjoy my time as an intern, knowing that I am going back to school in a few short weeks. I'm need to save all this adult-ness until I've graduated. I still need time to be without that many responsibilities, to be careless and silly, to have minimal stress and worry. I need time to be a kid.
28 June 2011
20 June 2011
worth the wait
It's been almost a month since I've blogged. To be honest, I haven't really had much to blog about. My life has been pretty constant -- work, sleep and more work; not much that is blog worthy. There has really only been one thing on my mind lately, and it's a doozy. So, for my first blog post in almost a month I am going to tackle the big topic of s-e-x. Yep, you definitely heard me right.
Before I begin, there's a couple things you should know about me: I am 21, I am in a committed relationship of two years and I'm a virgin. That's right, a virgin.
Up until this point, having sex before marriage had never been an option. It's something I never even considered in high school. After being extremely pressured by my first real boyfriend, my opinion on this topic was strong. From my 16-year-old point of view, I was too young and sex was supposed to be special and meaningful, shared with the person you were meant to be with (mature, huh?). And I thought that belief was unwavering.
Though my 21-year-old point of view still agrees, I have found that even the strongest opinions face challenges.
From my experience, in high school no one really talked about having sex - if you were doing it, if you weren't, you didn't really say. College, on the other hand, is completely different. People are more open about their opinions and experiences, especially with the influence of alcohol. Sex becomes part of conversation; people hook up at parties, "Never Have I Ever" exposes the truth about your friends or gossip spreads through groups. College is a time for freedom and new experiences...well, for some people.
Over the past couple of months, I started finding out that a lot of my friends were having sex. The real shocker is that I, even after being in a relationship for two years, was not. People were seriously floored when I told them that. They would tell me about their experiences and how great it is and how they couldn't survive without it. I began thinking am I doing something wrong?
And I began questioning my belief. What if I wait until marriage and my wedding night is terrible because I've never had sex? Is this really what I want? Is having sex really that big of deal?
But sex is a big deal; it's a huge deal. It's giving over your emotions, your love and your body over to another person. That, to me, is scary. Giving someone your whole being is terrifying. But, when you marry someone, you are committed to them in a way that is unlike an other and that makes all that fear go away; you know that this is the one person you are allowed to give yourself to in a way that is unlike any other.
In our society today, sex is just another part of every day life. And it's everywhere - music, movies, books. Sex is so relevant in society today that I think it has lost its significance and meaning. No longer is it about uniting a couple or making love; it's about peer pressure and feeling "good."
And I don't want to be any part of that. I love my boyfriend with everything I have and we have been dating for a long time but I want to save sex until I know that the person I am giving my body and soul to will give me theirs in return. I want to wait until I know that I will be loved and taken care of by one person for the rest of my life. I want to wait until the time is right and I can make love with my husband, knowing that it is something that only he and I will share for the rest of our lives. I want sex to be special again.
Before I begin, there's a couple things you should know about me: I am 21, I am in a committed relationship of two years and I'm a virgin. That's right, a virgin.
Up until this point, having sex before marriage had never been an option. It's something I never even considered in high school. After being extremely pressured by my first real boyfriend, my opinion on this topic was strong. From my 16-year-old point of view, I was too young and sex was supposed to be special and meaningful, shared with the person you were meant to be with (mature, huh?). And I thought that belief was unwavering.
Though my 21-year-old point of view still agrees, I have found that even the strongest opinions face challenges.
From my experience, in high school no one really talked about having sex - if you were doing it, if you weren't, you didn't really say. College, on the other hand, is completely different. People are more open about their opinions and experiences, especially with the influence of alcohol. Sex becomes part of conversation; people hook up at parties, "Never Have I Ever" exposes the truth about your friends or gossip spreads through groups. College is a time for freedom and new experiences...well, for some people.
Over the past couple of months, I started finding out that a lot of my friends were having sex. The real shocker is that I, even after being in a relationship for two years, was not. People were seriously floored when I told them that. They would tell me about their experiences and how great it is and how they couldn't survive without it. I began thinking am I doing something wrong?
And I began questioning my belief. What if I wait until marriage and my wedding night is terrible because I've never had sex? Is this really what I want? Is having sex really that big of deal?
But sex is a big deal; it's a huge deal. It's giving over your emotions, your love and your body over to another person. That, to me, is scary. Giving someone your whole being is terrifying. But, when you marry someone, you are committed to them in a way that is unlike an other and that makes all that fear go away; you know that this is the one person you are allowed to give yourself to in a way that is unlike any other.
In our society today, sex is just another part of every day life. And it's everywhere - music, movies, books. Sex is so relevant in society today that I think it has lost its significance and meaning. No longer is it about uniting a couple or making love; it's about peer pressure and feeling "good."
And I don't want to be any part of that. I love my boyfriend with everything I have and we have been dating for a long time but I want to save sex until I know that the person I am giving my body and soul to will give me theirs in return. I want to wait until I know that I will be loved and taken care of by one person for the rest of my life. I want to wait until the time is right and I can make love with my husband, knowing that it is something that only he and I will share for the rest of our lives. I want sex to be special again.
"The idea of waiting for something makes it more exiting."
- Andy Warhol
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