be here now

As a graduating senior, there is plenty to worry about, plenty to stress about, and plenty to be sad and/or excited about (yes, at the same time...I know, it's confusing and, yes, it sucks). There are lots of mixed emotions and lots of unknown factors. It's truly enough to make you crazy. (I think I may have already gotten there, actually.)

Let me give you a breakdown of all the things I am scared of:

- Not knowing where I am going to be living in 4 months. 

- Not having a job. Or, any prospects. Or, any real direction for that matter.

- Leaving Virginia Tech and the greatest friends I have ever had.

- Stopping my formal education. I know I will never stop learning, but will it ever be the same? Am I going to be challenged in the same way intellectually?

- Everyone and their sister getting engaged and feeling societal pressure from it. Are we really old enough for that??

- CHANGE.

I HATE change, and fear it; however, change is inevitable, especially now. It is going to happen whether I am ready for it for not (and, who seriously ever is?). So, I have to learn to embrace it. Keyword here being learn.

I have decided that all this worrying and stressing and being angry or sad about the next couple months is pointless because it change is going to happen, there's no stopping it. I'm not saying that stopping those emotions is easy. It's not. It means completely altering the way I've been thinking about the future.

It means instead of stressing, I become more determined and adamant with the job search. It means instead of worrying, I do yoga or blog as an outlet for my anxiety. It means instead of being angry or sad about what will happen, I will be happy about what is happening.

I am learning how to live in the moment; how to be content and joyful with what is currently in front of me. It's not easy, especially for a worry wort like me; I have to constantly remind myself of this new lifestyle I am trying to adopt, but the point is that I am trying. 

There's no reason to be worried about the future, or to feel pressure about the future, because everything will happen as it should. Right now, I need to focus on the present because it is the only thing I am sure of.