day one

I just finished day one of my yoga challenge. And it was definitely a challenge.

All day I had been thinking about it - I felt that I had let myself down because I hadn't started yet. I hate that feeling. So, I decided tonight is the night. I took a long time gearing up for the adventure...taking my time putting on my work out clothes (new yoga pants!), loading the video, then rolling out my mat which I then proceeded to just stare at for a while. I feel a strange connection to this mat - I bought it when I first started yoga and it's been a part of my journey through it, the rough times and the best classes of my life. It keeps me grounded, centered, allows me to accomplish things I didn't know were possible. Looking at it made me wonder if I was ready for the sweat and concentration and trust. I still don't know if I am.

The video was rough. Really rough. I knew that I couldn't expect to be great at yoga again - it takes time to get back into the flexibility and strength...but I was dying. Today's video was titled "Fun Flow" and there was hardly anything fun about it. And that kills me. I love yoga so much even though it is hard on my mind and body but tonight I feel so disappointed in my performance. I know I did the best I could because I didn't want to push myself too hard. The problem is that I know how my body used to be and not being able to do that now bothers me. I just need to keep reminding myself that as the weeks go on I will improve. I WILL improve.

When the video was over, I did a couple of my favorite poses to help relieve my disappointment. And those felt really good. Then, I sat down on my mat in a meditative pose I adore and talked to God. Yoga has always been my special time with God - a time when I can praise Him and allow His power to help me move through the flows. I miss that. So I sat in silence praying until I ran out of things to think about. Having that time made up for my disappointment in the workout. I feel calm and relaxed and one with my maker and my body. I feel good. (Although, I think my body will not be feeling as good tomorrow.)

Yoga Challenge Day One Lesson:
Things might be hard but keep working no matter what; sometimes the ends justify the means.